


Didn’t Know I’d Ever Miss You

by sfatka



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Established Relationship, I think?, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, The nu’est boys and moonbok don’t play a huge role, but anyway, idk honestly, minki doesn’t even say anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:00:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23600455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sfatka/pseuds/sfatka
Summary: Guanlin wants his boyfriend to pay attention to him. He gets confused and accidentally sabotages his own relationship.
Relationships: Hwang Minhyun & Yoo Seonho, Lai Guanlin/Yoo Seonho
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Didn’t Know I’d Ever Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> It was three years ago but I still can’t get over Seonho sitting on Minhyun’s lap during a break in the elimination

“Minhyun-hyung!” Seonho exclaims as he speeds towards the cafeteria table where the seniors sit. 

Guanlin is behind him, though he doesn’t run, because he does not, in fact, want to grab the attention of the whole cafeteria. He watches as Seonho locks Minhyun in a tight hug, then settling down right next to him with a bright smile. 

“Hey, hyungs.” Guanlin sits down next to Seonho, waving at Minhyun and Jonghyun. 

“Hi, Guanlinnie,” Jonghyun greets him with a smile, pushing a peanut butter sandwich towards him. 

He thanks him and bites into his lunch, glancing to see if Seonho also got something to eat. The younger didn’t ‘get’ something to eat, per se. He just took Minhyun’s food. 

“Hey, guys. Oh, Minhyun’s kid’s already here.” Here comes Dongho with Minki trailing behind him. They sit on both sides of Jonghyun, taking out their lunches. 

“Seonho’s not my son,” Minhyun sighs. 

“No?” Seonho cries out. 

Minhyun rolls his eyes and the rest chuckle. “Every single time,” he mumbles under his breath, defeated. 

And then a conversation starts. They talk about maths and geography, and how they all hate the history teacher. After that, they discuss their plans for Friday night. Minki suggests to go to the cinema together and Guanlin’s about to disagree, because he and Seonho already have plans, when someone says, “ya, Hwang Minhyun! Is that your new girlfriend?” 

The six of them simultaneously look at the owner of the voice. 

It’s Moonbok, Minhyun’s classmate, walking next to their table. He’s referring to the way Seonho is clinging to Minhyun and it’s actually hard to blame him for thinking they’re a couple. Calling Seonho a girlfriend? Guanlin wants to punch him for that. Assuming Seonho and Minhyun are a couple? He’s not surprised. 

They get that a lot. Many strange looks as Seonho hangs off Minhyun’s arm at any given moment when their group walks through any kind of public space. 

But Minhyun would _never_ think of Seonho that way. They all know that. He treats Seonho like a younger brother, maybe even son, but a romantic parter? No. No way in hell. But that’s just how their relationship is. Seonho platonically clings to Minhyun at all times and Minhyun just lets him be. 

“Are you jealous, Jang Moonbok?” Dongho calls out. 

“In your dreams,” Moonbok replies, placing his lunch on a table a few feet away from them. 

“Actually, in my dreams, you are- “ 

“Okay, I think that’s enough.” Jonghyun interrupts, clasping his hand on Dongho’s mouth to shut him up. “Just go eat your lunch, Jang Moonbok.” 

Moonbok sends them a weird look before eventually shrugging and settling down by his table. 

“Dongho, keep it in your pants,” Jonghyun orders. 

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!” Dongho bursts out. “I just wanted to say in my dreams he’s being painfully assassinated by a clone of himself.” 

“That’s-“ Jonghyun takes a shaky, hesitant breath, “-that’s even worse, actually.” 

“Exactly, Dongho. There are children here.” Minhyun dramatically covers Seonho’s ears, even though the younger doesn’t seem affected by Dongho’s confession. 

“So you admit he’s your son?” 

Minhyun slams his head against the table. 

“Okay, but that movie Minki-hyung was talking about. It sounds fun. I wanna see it,” Seonho states after school, as he and Guanlin walk through the park that leads to their houses. 

“Of course we’ll watch it,” Guanlin agrees. “Just not on Friday.” 

“Why not?” 

Guanlin stops at once. Seonho really has the _audacity_ to ask why not on Friday? Like he wasn’t the one who planned that. Like he wasn’t the one who proposed to go on a date on Friday? 

Seonho stops right after Guanlin. And then he chuckles. “I’m just kidding, Linnie-hyung. How could _I_ forget? I have the memory of an elephant.” 

“Elephants are rather forgetful,” Guanlin notices, his lips curling into an amused smile. Of course, it’s just a joke. Sometimes he’s too serious. Good thing he has Seonho to remind him to smile. 

“Really? Shoot,” Seonho grumbles. “Then what’s an animal with a good memory?” 

Guanlin full-on laughs. “I have no idea, Seonho.” 

The younger pouts. He thinks for a moment, then proudly announces, “I have the memory of Minhyun-hyung. Because he always remembers everything.” 

And there it is. Guanlin’s mood just has to be ruined. There really can’t be a conversation in which Minhyun isn’t mentioned. Guanlin can admit he was okay with it at first, but that was half a year ago and he’s had enough. How much can you talk about a person and not get tired of it? If you were talking about your crush or something, he supposes it would make more sense. But your hyung? And in front of your boyfriend? And let’s not get started on how Seonho is at Minhyun’s side whenever possible. Guanlin just now realizes that’s too much for him. Because Seonho doesn’t feel like his boyfriend. Despite all reason, Seonho feels like Minhyun’s boyfriend. And that’s simply _humiliating_. 

Guanlin starts walking again. 

“Linnie-hyung?” Seonho catches up and wraps his hands around Guanlin’s arm. 

Guanlin doesn’t even look at him, he just continues walking. 

“I really didn’t forget about our date, don’t worry,” Seonho assures him. “The movie isn’t that important anyway. I’d rather spend time with you~” 

Guanlin hums in acknowledgement. He may be mad at Seonho right now, but he doesn’t wanna be so mean to straight up ignore him. 

“Linnie-hyung?” 

“Hm?” 

“Are you upset?” 

“No.” He clearly is. If it wasn’t obvious before, it definitely is now. 

“Because of what I said?” 

Seonho sounds sad. Guanlin doesn’t like it when Seonho is sad. But Guanlin’s sad too, and it’s because of Seonho. What now? 

“Hyung, I’m so-“ 

“Look it’s your house.” Guanlin hurriedly points to the building. “You should go. See you tomorrow.” He walks away before Seonho has a chance to respond. 

They do not see each other the next day, though. 

Because Guanlin stays at home, convincing his parents that he’s sick. He has a hard time admitting it, but he wants to avoid Seonho. He doesn’t know how he would react if they met, mostly because of how Guanlin acted yesterday. He admits, he might be overreacting, but what is he supposed to do? Just ignore how his boyfriend likes Minhyun more than him? He did that, for half a year, he did. But that didn’t work in his favour. He was understanding. He really was. Didn’t complain when Seonho clung to Minhyun and was more invested in talking with him rather than Guanlin. But it’s too much. Too much to handle. 

It’s not like he has to explain himself to someone, anyway. It’s not like Seonho is here to listen to his rant. He doesn’t owe anyone anything. 

Well, okay, maybe that’s not true. He owes Seonho an explanation as to why he’s acting so weird. But how would that go? Guanlin would say he’s tired of something he’s been tolerating for so long and hasn’t complained once about (not to Seonho anyway)? That seems ridiculous. 

Maybe he and Seonho should break up? Because, clearly, Seonho isn’t comfortable with affection towards Guanlin. He’s more than okay with it towards Minhyun, though. Maybe the only thing keeping him from confessing to Minhyun is not wanting to hurt Guanlin’s feelings? 

That... actually makes sense. Guanlin figured it out! 

And now he knows what to do. He has to break up with Seonho... Okay, maybe it doesn’t sound good. But he’ll be doing Seonho a favour. It doesn’t matter how Guanlin’s feeling, it’s important that Seonho is happy. That’s always the most important thing. 

Day 2 of faking illness and staying home. Guanlin doesn’t want to break up with Seonho. Because he likes him. A lot. And cares about him. And he can’t even imagine what his life would look like without Seonho in it. 

He doesn’t know if the younger feels the same, though. You see, Guanlin’s hyungs texted him earlier, asking if he’s okay. Seonho didn’t. Of course, it might be because the older had acted weird the last time they saw each other, but it could also be because Seonho doesn’t care about Guanlin. Obviously, the other option seems more accurate- 

The door rings and Guanlin jumps in his seat. He’s in the living room, so he doesn’t waste much time walking to the door. He doesn’t worry about who it might be until he opens the door. Then, he freezes. 

It’s Seonho. 

Seonho, just standing there, looking nervous as ever. He’s playing with his fingers and he keeps his head low, avoiding eye contact. He seems smaller than usual. 

Guanlin feels like they haven’t seen each other forever. It feels bad. So he just stares at the younger, taking in his sight while he still has a chance. Because he doesn’t know what’s gonna happen, so he wants to remember every little detail. Like how his milk-chocolate eyes are shining even though he’s not happy and how his nose scrunches up involuntarily and how he bites his lip ever so slightly, with his teeth barely even showing and how he tugs on his hoodie’s sleeves so his fingers are almost entirely covered, but he still fiddles with them. Just... Seonho. 

“Uhm, hi...” 

Guanlin snaps back into reality at Seonho’s voice. It’s so small and unsure... And it’s because of Guanlin. 

“Hi, Seonho,” Guanlin’s kind of surprised - his voice is weirdly hesitant. But, what is he supposed to do now? What does Seonho want him to do? 

“Can... Can I come in?” 

“Uh, yes. Yes, of course.” Guanlin hurriedly steps away to let the younger in. 

Seonho, on the other hand, walks in slowly, taking his time as he removes his shoes and faces Guanlin again. “...Hi.” 

“Hi.” 

It’s so awkward. Guanlin hates it. 

“Do you want something to drink? Or just anything?” 

“I want you to tell me what’s going on.” 

Well, Guanlin wasn’t expecting that. With his head hung low, he guides Seonho to his room. 

He keeps his distance as the younger sits down on the bed. 

“I don’t think it’s working.” 

Seonho frowns, confused. He stares at Guanlin. “What isn’t working?” 

“Us.” 

Seonho’s eyes widen and his mouth hangs open. There’s heartbreak written all over his face. Guanlin regrets everything. 

“Wh-what do you mean? Did I do something wrong?” 

Seonho’s about to cry and Guanlin can _hear_ the lump in his throat and that’s just. Too much. Guanlin stumbles closer and drops to the floor. He leans his hands on the younger’s knees and looks up at him. 

“Seonho... please don’t cry. I’m so sorry.” He doesn’t really know what to say. He thought Seonho would be relived. But he’s not. Why? 

“I’m not _going_ to cry.” But there are already tears rolling down his cheeks. 

It is now time for Guanlin’s heart to shatter. His dearest, his Seonho, is crying. Because of him. Because of how _stupid_ he is. 

He gently wipes Seonho’s cheeks, trying hard to contain his own tears. 

“Seonho, please-“ 

“Tell me why, Lin-hyung,” Seonho whimpers. “Just tell me why. Was it something I did?” 

How could Guanlin ever think Seonho didn’t care about him? Oh god, he made the biggest mistake of his life. He has to - needs to - make it right. 

“You know what, Seonho, just forget I said anything. It was stupid, it doesn’t matter. Don’t think about it.” 

“You’re taking pity on me, Lin-hyung. That’s not fair,” Seonho whispers. 

“I just came to a wrong conclusion. That’s all.” 

“That’s ridiculous!” Seonho leaps out of his seat, which sends Guanlin crashing down on the floor. 

The older stares at him in both confusion and concern. “Seonho-“ 

“Listen, last time we talked, you acted super weird and I wanna know why. I need to know why, cause I’m sure it’s connected to the conversation we’re having right now. So just tell me, hyung. What’s going on?” 

Guanlin has to be honest. There’s no other way to fix this. But he finds it so hard to say anything, the words just get stuck in his throat. 

“Seonho... please sit down. I’ll tell you everything, just sit down.” 

Seonho does as told, though he also crosses his arms over his chest and squints at the older. 

Guanlin doesn’t move closer to him, having learned his lesson. 

“Uh, how do I do this?” he mumbles to himself. 

“Just start speaking,” Seonho unhelpfully comments. Good thing his sense of humour is still there. 

Guanlin sighs. “I guess I just...” He keeps his gaze solely on the floor. He can’t look at Seonho, it would be embarrassing. “It’s because you always cling onto Minhyun-hyung. And talk about him. A lot. And I know I haven’t said anything about it, like ever, but... I noticed people assume that you and Minhyun-hyung are... well... you know. And maybe I was jealous. I don’t know, it just felt so weird and why are you never clinging to me or excited to see me or anything-“ 

Guanlin abruptly stops speaking before he can start crying. He still stares at the floor. 

“Linnie-hyung...” Seonho plops down onto the floor right in front of the older. He gently takes his hands in his. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was affecting you like that... You could’ve told me earlier, you know. We could’ve worked it out- not that we can’t work it out now, I’m just... sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry, Seonho. It’s not your fault,” Guanlin mumbles, shifting his gaze to their intertwined hands. 

“Except it really is. If I-“ 

“It’s mine. I should’ve told you I had a problem with it - you were doing it because you thought I didn’t mind.” 

“Miscommunication at its finest,” Seonho mutters. 

Guanlin chuckles quietly. Seonho’s sense of humour, not leaving even in such a serious situation. It’s a great thing about him, honestly. These kinds of situations really do need a little bit of cheering up. Seonho is... just great. 

Guanlin gets serious again. “I’m sorry, Seonho.” 

“It’s okay.” The younger squeezes Guanlin’s hands reassuringly. “At least you were honest with me.” 

“It took a lot, though, didn’t it?” 

Seonho laughs. “It did.” 

He leans in and rests his head on Guanlin’s chest. The older wraps his arms around Seonho, burying his face in the younger’s hair. 

And they know they’ll both be okay. 

“Hi, Minhyun-hyung!” 

Seonho and Guanlin walk into the cafeteria holding hands. They sit down by the table together, smiling at Minhyun, Jonghyun, Dongho and Minki, who are already there. 

Seonho leans his head on Guanlin’s shoulder as the older accepts a sandwich from Jonghyun. 

Guanlin feels great. He likes Seonho a lot and he’s glad they figured it out. He wouldn’t trade anything for this moment. He can show everybody that Seonho, the most adorable boy ever, is his boyfriend, no one else’s. He just can’t help smiling when Seonho is so close to him. It’s great. 

“They grow up so fast,” Minhyun fake-weeps, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. 

Seonho smiles amusingly and nuzzles closer to Guanlin as the older puts an arm around him. 

“So Seonho’s your son, huh?” Dongho chimes in. 

Minhyun rolls his eyes at that. “One day. All I want is one day when you don’t mention that,” he sighs. 

“Not gonna happen.” Dongho grins innocently at him. 

Jonghyun tries to change the topic, when a voice interrupts him. 

“Ya, Hwang Minhyun, did your girlfriend break up with you?” Moonbok calls out. 

Guanlin wants to go over there and punch him, but Seonho gently stops him. He smiles at the older reassuringly. 

“Fuck you, Jang Moonbok!” 

“Dongho! There are children here,” Minhyun gasps. 

Guanlin doesn’t particularly care. He cares that now it really is obvious that he and Seonho are together. He’s _happy_.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos welcomed! 
> 
> Please talk to me on twitter (@acrossthehaneul) I’m lonely :(


End file.
